How to Push Past Your Fear

It's incredible how much fear can stop us from doing the things that we really want to do, and how often you can tell yourself that you're not going to be afraid anymore or that you're going to "feel the fear and do it anyway," and you can still find yourself (emotionally) crouched in a corner trembling. What is that all about, anyway?

During my misspent youth, I found that when I was out at a party or a bar, it was easier to talk to people when I was a little (or sometimes, a lot) drunk. Then one night I was out and I wasn't drunk, and I decided to, in a way, start acting like I was. Not the stumbling, slurring, crazy-talk drunk that some people can be (not me — ever!), but the drunk Jocelyn that found it easy to talk to anyone. And you know what? It worked. I had a blast that night, and no hangover the next morning. And it started many years of being a relatively outgoing person. Lately I've become somewhat antisocial again, but this time it's due to choice, not fear. Either way, it's really not the point.

When I decided to tell my current employer that I had set my sights on getting a job with them (yes, I'm bringing this up yet again), I chose to go up to two top editors and say, in so many words, "I want to work for you." Period. People probably do this kind of thing all the time, but not me. I go through all the proper channels;  I don't stalk the editor in chief at a wellness conference. But this time I did it, and it worked.

I know I could come up with many other one-shot examples like this, but I think I'm making my point. When I look back at things that I've done like this, I see a definite theme: I had a huge desire and, more importantly, I had the realization that I had nothing to lose. I'm not saying that I didn't care if I met new people or if I got the job that I wanted; actually, it was the opposite. I really wanted those things. And I realized that if I tried and failed, I was right where I already was. So, really, what did I have to lose? Nothing.

Having had this epiphany and having my own experiences as proof of its validity would make you think that I will try anything fearlessly at this point in my life. Again, quite the opposite. I find myself dealing with fear almost daily — I'm just one of those high-strung personalities. But when I get really stuck (like I have been with my writing the last few weeks), sometimes if I can just remind myself that I have nothing to lose by trying, I'm able to give myself that kick in the ass that I need.

I'm sure you've probably heard this a million times before, but, what would you do if you had nothing to lose?